Tennessee Divorce and Family Law

Parenting Plan

The parenting plan is a document that divides custody, visitation, and decision making between the parents. This post will go over the more common items that are included in a Tennessee Parenting plan.

One of the main items in the parenting plan is the residential schedule. The residential schedule defines who the children will reside with during the school year, vacations, holidays, special occasions, and any limitations when visiting with a parent. The plan can award holidays such as Thanksgiving to the father every even year and to the mother every odd year. The parents can even agree that some holidays will be given to one parent every year. Usually a plan will define what time a holiday begins and what time it ends. It is important to have a detailed plan to prevent problems with interpretation later.

The next step in a plan is to assign decision making between the parents. Major decisions such as education or religious upbringing can be assigned to one parent or jointly. Day to day decision making is usually given to the parent that the child is residing with at the time the decision needs to be made. If certain decisions are especially important to a parent, this is the time to make that known and reach an agreement.

The next major item in a parenting plan is child support. This area states which parent will pay child support and in what amount. Child support is calculated using the state guidelines which is based on the income shares model. This section will also explain which parent is responsible for maintaining health insurance on the child. If a parent is required to have life insurance during the child's minority, it will also be listed here.

A provision for dispute resolution is generally included in a parenting plan. Many plans provide for disputes between the parties to go through mediation before going back to court. This provision should also state who is responsible for costs of mediation or arbitration.

When may a child decide which parent they want to live with?

I am asked quite frequently “at what age may a child decide whom to live with after a divorce”. The answer is 18 (the age of majority). Until a child becomes an adult they may not decide on their own which parent to live with after divorce. In Tennessee, if a child is 12 years of age or older the judge must hear testimony from the child (either in court or in chambers) as to the preference of the child. However the judge is under no obligation to place the child in their preferred home. The preference of the child is merely one factor that the judge will consider in awarding custody to the primary residential parent. The main consideration that the judge uses to determine custody is the best interest of the child. The preference of the child is only one consideration in determining what is in the best interest of the child.

How is Child Custody Determined in Tennessee?

Tennessee courts use several factors to determine who gets custody of the children. The guiding factor in all TN custody decisions is the best interests of the child. Courts are prohibited from considering the gender of the parent in their child custody determinations. In making initial custody determinations the court will consider all relevant factors in the case including:

• The Willingness and ability of the parent to facilitate and encourage a close relationship between the child and the other parent.
• The ability of the parent to instruct, inspire, and encourage the child
• The strength, nature, and stability of the relationship between the child and the parent
• The parents refusal to attend a court ordered parent education class
• The disposition of the parent to provide the child with food, clothing, medical care, and education
• The degree to which a parent has been the primary caregiver
• The love, affection, and emotional ties existing between each parent and the child
• The emotional needs and developmental level of the child
• The character and physical and emotional fitness of the parent
• The importance of continuity in the child's life
• Evidence of abuse of the child or the other parent
• If the child is over 12, the preference of the child may be considered
• Any other factors that are relevant to the court

Single Parenting and Today's Family

Over the past 20 years single-parent families have become even more common than the so-called "nuclear family" consisting of a mother, father and children. Today we see all sorts of single parent families: headed by mothers, headed by fathers, headed by a grandparent raising their grandchildren.

Life in a single parent household - though common - can be quite stressful for the adult and the children. Members may unrealistically expect that the family can function like a two-parent family, and may feel that something is wrong when it can not. The single parent may feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of juggling caring for the children, maintaining a job and keeping up with the bills and household chores. And typically, the family's finances and resources are drastically reduced following the parents' breakup.

Single parent families deal with many other pressures and potential problem areas that the nuclear family does not have to face. Some of these are:
- Visitation and custody problems;
- The effects of continuing conflict between the parents;
- Less opportunity for parents and children to spend time together;
- Effects of the breakup on children's school performance and peer relations;
- Disruptions of extended family relationships;
- Problems caused by the parents' dating and entering new relationships.

The single parent can help family members face these difficulties by talking with each other about their feelings and working together to tackle problems. Support from friends, other family members and the church or synagogue can help too. But if family members are still overwhelmed and having problems, it may be time to consult an expert.

Source: The American Psychological Association.

Helping Children Deal With Divorce

Children can have a terrible time dealing with their parent's divorce. Helping them deal with the emotional consequences can be difficult. There are some wonderful sources for parents to help their children during and after the divorce. The Oklahoma Family Law Blog has 3 excellent posts on resources for helping children of divorce.

Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce, Making Divorce Easier on Your Child, and What About the Kids?

While you are there check out some of the amazing information that Dan Nunley has posted.

Child Custody Cannot Be Changed Over Parent's Homosexuality Alone

In Tennessee, the mere fact that the primary residential parent is a homosexual is not enough to justify a change of custody. In 2005, the Court of Appeals addressed this very issue.

The Tennessee Court of Appeals ruled that a mother's homosexuality alone would not justify a change of custody. (Berry v. Berry) The Court found that there was no proof that the mother's sexual orientation had affected the child's well being. The Court stated that the post-divorce homosexuality did not create a material change in circumstances that would justify a change in custody.

In order to change custody a parent would have to show that there has been a material change in circumstances. In this case, the parent would have to show proof that the child was in someway being harmed by living with the homosexual parent.